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Crash or Crash Through

Hullo Sailors,

Sorry about the American spelling (that’s not how you spell theatre, if you hadn’t figured it out for yourself) but the Fifties wasn’t a bad decade was it, and we are all legends in our own lunchtime, aren’t we?

 Some of us Boomers are pretty tech savvy, and some of us are definitely not, but this week we are going to give you all a chance to further enhance your IT skills by clicking on a link.

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A Test of Your Powers of Comprehension

Hullo Sailors,

The year is grinding remorselessly onwards towards next year and I haven’t been able to find a way to slow it down. My feeble attempt at organising a lockdown here in WA didn’t seem to slow us down at all – no sooner had we got the hang of staying at home and bumping elbows with chance acquaintances from across the room, we were released back to sailing and the tempo sped up again. Now we are plunging recklessly into November and Yuletide is revving its wheels in the metaphorical background.

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Attempt To Blow Up The Parliament

Hullo Sailors,

Relax. This is NOT the headline from the US Presidential Election – Donald, at the time of writing, to my knowledge, hasn’t threatened any such thing yet. But nothing would surprise me about Donald anymore. (What does continue to surprise and disappoint me is the apparent IQ of the average American voter.)

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Where's the Club Dummy Gone?

Hullo Sailors,

I seriously needed the dummy today as I wanted to award it to at least three sailors before a sailing session.

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Well, That Went Well

Hullo Sailors,

I attended a meeting today with some local government employees and my immediate mental note to self as we walked away was, “Well, that went well”.
Not.

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Many and Various

Hullo Sailors,

I’m busier than a one-armed juggler, even before I start thinking about sailing this weekend, so this newsletter is going to have to cover its many and various subjects and issues right away. There’s a lot on, so let’s get right into it.

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Premature Expectations

Hullo Sailors,
Today I got sunburnt sailing with the Gentlemen and I launched my boat in shorts and bare feet. Tomorrow I expect to do the same and I probably won’t see the need to throw my transmitter cover in the car  before I head for the lake. I may throw in some Factor 50 though.

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The Singing Budgie

Hullo Sailors,

Yes folks, the Singing Budgie got it right when she sang “I Should Be So Lucky” a few years ago. (What’s that? It was 1987 apparently, so a bit more than a few years ago, but I can still hear it ringing in my ears so I figured it must be recent …)

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And Today's Theme Is ...

Everything will kill you so choose something fun!  Apparently, even too much radio sailing can be fatal.

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Like Parking a Bike!

Hullo Sailors,

All the purple prose I had in waiting to titillate you with will have to wait – the Dockers match has already started.

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Magpie Swooping Season

Hullo Sailors,

I’ve just heard on the radio that it’s magpie swooping season already, and I’m not ready. Usually it’s a spring thing and I can lie in bed late right through August before I get out my gear and head out to swoop some maggies but apparently they’re out there now so it’s time to get serious.

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SWMBO Says

Hullo Sailors,

Driving back from an afternoon’s sailing at Austin Lakes just now, I was listening to  ABC radio and the theme of the talkback was “It’s never going to happen but I wish I could… “.

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Wander Over Yonder

Hullo Sailors,

The Call of the Wild is upon us and Sandshoes McGowan has invited us to respond to the Call and to Wander Over Yonder to somewhere, where even if you don’t think it’s Wild, you might be able to hear it from there.

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SWMBO Has Gone Out

Hullo Sailors,

It’s been one of those days – a list as long as your arm of little things that need to be done before I run out of time, and SWMBO, in total ignorance of my far more important priorities, keeps adding things to the list. But she’s standing at the front door, waiting for her lift to her next Important Meeting (which is immediately followed by another Important Meeting elsewhere).

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Acts of Stupidity

Hullo Sailors,

None of us is immune from committing acts of stupidity, though I must say they do seem a lot more common on the east coast of Australia right now than here in the west. Imagine trying to get into Bunnings without a mask – what was she thinking? Or falsifying an entry form to QLD to pretend that you hadn’t been in Victoria? (Though maybe I get that a bit – right now, who wants to be in or from Victoria?)

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But Seriously

Hullo Sailors, 

Today’s Musical Quiz isn’t too hard – just be the first to name the artist who composed all the songs, arranged and produced the album and played the drums and most of the other instruments on most of the numbers of the LP I’m playing right now. Shouldn’t be too hard.

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Winning Isn't Everything

Hullo Sailors,

Here we are in mid-July and the winter events are coming thick and fast – some of us are sailing like we’re a bit thick and some of us are sailing fast. But before we talk about this week’s and next week’s events, let’s just congratulate Glenn Dawson on winning the IOM Perth Classic last Sunday at Jackadder.

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Things Went Swimmingly

Hullo Sailors,

I went sailing today and things were going swimmingly (don’t you just love that -  swimmingly? WTF does that actually mean and where did I get it from?)

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It's Shootout Time!

Hullo Sailors,

No, this is not another threat about what I’ll do if you don’t keep your 1.5 m distance, but it’s about the fact that the July calendar is full of Shootouts and you’re all invited. They start next week for IOMs and then there’s one for Dragon Boats on each of the following Sundays.

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Stay Away From Me!

Hullo Sailors,

When this virus thing is over with... I still want some of you to stay away from me.

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Things Are Hotting Up!

Hullo Sailors,

Things are hotting up, well, metaphorically speaking anyway he says as the storm front goes through … But now that we have our clubs up and running again and have reinstated our calendars, there is a range of upcoming events over and above the mundane IOM Club Racing to set your sights on.

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Deliberations Of A Sailing Committee

Hullo Sailors,

Your Sailing Committee took their lives in their hands for you last week and met face to face to review the Club Calendar and thrash out any required changes. I can guarantee that there was no hand shaking, no man hugs and definitely no sharing of wine glasses – we all had our own.

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June Has Arrived

Hullo Sailors,

June has arrived and therefore so has winter, officially. All but the hardiest sailors, or the most forgetful, have dug out their wellies and waders and have eschewed shorts, bare feet and crocs for launching and retrieving boats. Already, trannie covers have been required to keep the electrical gear dry during the showers and now, we have the final proof that winter has arrived.

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The Elephant In The Room

Hullo Sailors,

This is not the elephant I was referring to and, in fact, there are two elephants in this particular room. It was the only photo I could find of an elephant and I had to go way back in my archives to find it. You can clearly tell it’s an old photo, because no-one is socially distancing, especially the rabbits.

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